Tuesday, September 14, 2004

"Tradition" sometimes sucks...

Interesting article in the Press Democrat (Santa Rosa, Ca) on Tuesday 9/14 :



Link to Article

I almost can't believe my eyes! Yikes!!
Is that really Jean Charles Boisset, son of Burgundy's most powerful wine family, former WS cover boy, suspended in a Gimp harness, nearly naked, over a vat of Pinot?!?

Indeed it is....I think I'm swearing off DeLoach products forever...(pardon me while I go puke...)

Perhaps their new label will be "Burgundy Bidet".

Interesting, though, in that it touts the "traditional" way of treading the grapes to break them open in the tank (an operation usually referred to as "crushing/destemming"). It's NOT recommended after the onset of fermentation due to the production of CO2 by the vats (meaning you can die from asphyxiation) when you stir up the pomace.

So why do this? Pro's of this argument:

  1. minimal expense outlay for pumps, or punchdown equipment
  2. it gets your picture in the local paper for the winery you just bought out of Chapter 11
  3. you can argue that it's gentle to the grapes
  4. automatic recognition from 'traditionalists' that you do things the 'old fashioned way' (a fallacy implying that any time saving device compromises the quality of the product)

Con's :

  1. bad press (pun intended) for those consumers who can think of millions of reasons not to buy your product (body sweat, bacteria, body hair [ewwww! - and he does look hairy!])
  2. let's face it - French culture isn't known for it's fastidious personal hygiene ('french culture'...my that's got a new meaning now!)
  3. BIDETs are commercially available for those who wish to partake of them. Perhaps he'll use one after he uses that vat for the same purposes...
  4. I suppose they'll claim that the wine was a 'natural' fermentation (God knows what type of yeast it is/was...see 'French culture' quip above)
  5. it's hard to 'decontaminate' the human body (sanitize it), and I can see quite quickly that any bad microorganisms (e.g. Acetobacter, Lactobacillis, and the dreaded Brettanomyces) could rapidly be spread through your entire facility
  6. It'd take, like, forever, to get through your daily workload...
  7. ...what about yeast infections?...Eeeewwww!
  8. ...and finally, it gives your critics full reign to call your wines 'shitty'.

Yikes, indeed!

3 Comments:

Blogger VineSugar said...

HA! Oh... man... those are the funniest remarks against traditionalists I've heard. Thanks for the endless laughs!!

September 15, 2004 11:31 AM  
Blogger Huge said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 17, 2004 9:46 AM  
Blogger Huge said...

Thanks...it was too easy given the amount of ammunition they gave me via the picture & article.

** DANGER! ~ the threat of asphixiation is REAL!!
DO NOT attempt to "swim" the grapes down (as opposed to punchdowns)...the amount of CO2 that's released by fermentation is ~16 times (a general value @ 24┬░Brix) the volume of the fermentor, and can quickly overpower a person - knocking them unconcious, and so they then suffocate.

This is NOT a joke - it's seriously dangerous! Every 3 to 5 years someone dies from CO2 in the California Wine Country. How stupid...yes indeed...very, very stupid.
[End of Public Service Announcement]

September 17, 2004 10:01 AM  

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