Home Winemaker Kits Available

Dowe chemical today announced the release of their new home winemaker kit, dubbed "Pimp My Wine". The product will be sold in a small cardboard box and will include 2.4 gallons of concord grape juice, 6 oz of powdered tannins, 4 oz of acid, and 12 oz oak dust. "This will allow wine lovers to create their own semi-unique blends of wine using the same tools winemakers use" said Jason Phillips, head of product development.

Phillips added that additional products were being developed that would include "essence of cow pie", cigar ash, pencil shavings, and a beret for those "garagistes" who wanted to pimp their wine, "French style".

An Australian option would include the basic kit, plus black pepper, some table sugar, and blank labels with cute animals on them.

The Napa version is the same as the basic kit, but costs 5 times more.

A South African kit was reportedly under development, but scrapped when Dowe was beaten to the punch.

In a related story, Europe sighed heavily today.