What are they smoking at "Wine & Spirits"???

I realize that virtually nobody reads Wine & Spirits magazine, but I'm pretty convinced that they get together to smoke a fat one before reviewing wines. Now I'm all for getting past 'leathery' as a descriptor for Merlot, but I'm having a little trouble even imagining what some of these smells and flavors would smell/taste like in wine.

I feel "unctuous" to write this, but is chestnut honey something I want in my Chardonnay or would it be better to wait for a wine with more traditional clover honey notes?

Some samples:


"...glows with heady, autumnal scents of apple orchards, chesnut honey, and beeswax..."

"...clean, elegant flavor, somewhere between flowers, and the nuttiness of fresh pea shoots..."

"...litany of seductive scents, brioche, fennel, scallion, salt and ozone, all integrated with its gentle cantaloupe and pear fruit...."

"...spice released by a tight kernel of jasmine pearl green tea to the sky breaking open with the sun. The flavors are balanced between the fat of a nectarine, the juiciness of a ripe orange and the flintiness of cracked stone..."

"...the combination of quice and flint, the freshness of rainwater, the acidity of yellow heirloom apples..."

"...scents of green tea and honey enrich the sweet marmalade flavors...."

"...roasted nut scent of oak carries over softer wheat and chammomile aromas...."

"...the same bristly acidities, the piercing taste of spring onions, the clarity and freshness of water from a cool spring.....velvet texture, the lithe florals to lift it out of that texture, the nuttiness of young green shoots to match roast sweetbreads...."