Monday, January 23, 2006

Comedy at Unified Symposium

Stand up comedy @ the Unified Grape & Wine Symposium in Sacramento, Ca?

Sounds like it might just be that...

What am I going on about? Just this - one of the lectures is the following:
Biodynamic Farming – Where Does It Fit in the American Wine Community?
Of course they’re going to want to soak you for a couple of hundred $’s to go hear them (2 to 4 PM, Wednesday 1/25/06). But I'm sure there'll be plenty of laughs, gaffs and guffaws as the consultants try to convince even more people to put some of their hard earned cash into a system that just doesn't work.

From their website, here are the details:
Speakers will present their perspectives on the practical and economic differences of organic, sustainable and biodynamic practices, as well as the philosophy and motivation for biodynamic grapegrowing.

Moderator:Ed Weber, University of California Cooperative Extension, Napa County

Philippe Armenier, Biodynamic Consultant, California
Jim Fulmer, Consultant, Oregon
David Koball, Fetzer Vineyards, California
Javier Meza, Ceago del Lago, California

Anyway, I'd love to have this scenario played out:
Mod: And now for questions from the floor...[pointing to me] yes, go ahead sir...

Vini [deadpan]: Yes this is for the consultants...when you reduce BioD to it's essential points that make it effective, there's nothing really left but organic viticulture, right?

1st Consultant: No that's not true...these preparations are what set BioD apart from-

Vini [cutting him off]: John Reaganold in Washington has been studying BioD for what ~15 years~ and has conducted a 6-year experiment comparing BioD and Organic viticulture, which showed that there was no difference in the soils afterward-

2nd Con [cutting me off]: But BioD is about those aspects that you can't quantify - the spiritual aspect of the land and maintaining harmony. That's what makes BioD so essential to today's agriculture, and why you can't really 'study' it in a laboratory or in an experiment. Then there's also the prohibition of all pesticides and chemicals. Do you understand?

Vini: What I understand is that you clowns want me to pay quanitifiable amounts of cash to you to sell me a system which has no checks and no guarantees of success, as well as charge me for initial and continuing certification plans, in addition to BioD preparations, none of which has any quantifiable returns - all of which in the end boils down to 3 simple statements: a) use the least invasive techniques available in winemaking, b) only ferment with 'wild' yeast, and c) use no pesticides or chemicals what-so-ever. There, I've gone and given away the trade secrets of yours, haven't I?
By the way, you have yet to provide any sort of evidence that the land was ever out of harmony to start with...not to mention the fact that I can go "zero chemicals" without having to give you dime for anything at all, right?


Well that would be fun, though it'd probably get my sorry butt kicked out of the lecture...though it might still be worth the money just to do it.

See this article by Erin Allday (Wine industry place to be) from the Santa Rosa Press Democrat for more information, as well as some reasons you might want to go. Tuesday thru Thursday, 1/24/06 ~1/26/06...



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